Finding You

Dear My Little Bean, 

I found out about you today. Every ounce of me was excited to hear the nurse say “It’s positive”.. I wish I could find the right words to describe the emotions I felt when the nurse said that. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Being 27, I am an adult. Part of me still feels like that high schooler who has no idea what they want to do with their life. The excitement I have for you, out weighs any negative or doubtful thoughts I may have about you little bean. 

Your grandma is very excited for you. She was the one to give you the nickname little bean. I’m not sure if it’s because you look like a little bean, or if because that was my nickname growing up. Funny enough, when I graduated high school, my aunt gave me a Little Bean necklace that I haven’t taken off since. I use to think of her every time I touched it. Now I think of you. 

You are definitely kicking my butt with morning sickness though. Usually right when I wake up. Your grandma said bland foods will help with that. I will 100% be trying that tomorrow before getting out of bed. 

I hope I can make you proud little bean. That is what is truly terrifying to me. I won’t be the momma you deserve. I know I will be. But you deserve the world. My only prayer is that I can offer it to you. 

That’s all I have for now Bean.. 

I’ll love you forever. 

I’ll like you for always. 

As long as I’m living,

My baby you’ll be.